When I would come home from Chicago every summer from the mission trip with my church, our girls minister would help our group begin to assess what it would be like to return home. Her advice was always to pick one story to have ready to tell when people ask "how was the trip?" and as I sit in my bed in good ole South Carrick for the last time this semester, I find these words coming to my heart.
Pick a story and have it ready to tell.
But my issue is what story do I choose to tell? This semester has been full of the Lord's presence, and I have so many stories to choose from. He has been faithful in every single moment, and I'm finding it difficult to pick just one.
So when you see me, please ask how my semester has been. I'll probably grin ear to ear and start talking your ear off at a hundred miles per hour, and I'll tell you the story that I've chosen for those quick encounters at restaurants or in the halls of BBC (it's about my internship! It's exciting I promise! Sports!)
But until then, here are three of my other favorite stories/key moments:
1. Meet #collegechicks.
#Collegechicks is what Mallory, Montana, and I call ourselves.
It's cheesy, and in fact, none of us really even remember how we arrived at this name. But it's the title of our group message and a silly yet memorable title to use to refer to ourselves.
It's cheesy, and in fact, none of us really even remember how we arrived at this name. But it's the title of our group message and a silly yet memorable title to use to refer to ourselves.
I actually met Mallory in middle school at a church camp, where we hung out for a week and then only remained in loose touch via social media until this past summer when she came to that aforementioned mission trip. We ended up rooming together, and just clicking in every single way.
Similarly, Montana was also a social media friend, who I exchanged a handful of Instagram DMs and liked tweets with before the semester started. It was a coincidence that we ended up at the same cookout at the Baptist Collegiate Ministry and have spent almost every day together since.
The 3 of us have a friendship that I haven't really experienced before. We're not at all the same, but we balance each other well. Montana's loud with Mal's quiet and my somewhere in the middle makes for great conversations in our corner of PCB at dinner and for the silliest of car rides.
I feared coming into school at UT that I wouldn't meet like minded people. It's no secret that this SEC school of mine can be kind of wild, and I was anxious that I would never connect with people who weren't that kind of wild...but out of no where, sweet Mal popped up in Chicago and Montana slid into those DMs and the rest is history.
They're the kind of friends you pray about and pray for God to give you, and they're the kind of friends who pray for you, too. One of my favorite memories is before Fall Break, we stood in the middle of Pres Court and bowed our heads to reflect on the first quarter and pray over the coming one. We prayed for protection as we travelled, which I'm certain was a key factor for Miss Montana, but that' a whole nother story.
We bond over a love for Jesus, K-Brew, and worship music that makes you want to scream it at the top of your lungs. They give me the accountability as my sisters to stay focused on the Lord and pursue Him, not on the little things that I so easily tend to do. Our stories and personalities are all different but they all work together in an incredibly cool way. There's just something special about the way that we relate to each other 1 on 1 with different dynamics but also mesh so well when we're all together (aka 99% of the time).
As annoying as we know we can be on social media, #collegechicks has been a constant reminder of never being left alone and of how abundant life in community is.
2. Choices, Choices, Choices
Something super attractive to me about coming to a big school were all the organizations that I could choose to be apart of. Be it Campus Events, BCM, some golf club, or Students Organization for Deaf Awareness-- the options were endless.
But with endless options come time constraints and decisions. I came into school convinced that I would find a home at the Baptist Collegiate Ministry, but I soon was presented the opportunity to try other organizations like RUF (Reformed University Fellowship), VFC (Vols for Christ), Younglife, CS@UTK (Christian Students @ UTK), churches, etc.
I began to run out of time to do it all and to do it all well, and I had to make a decision about where to plug in.
As welcomed as I felt at the BCM and as comfortable as I was, it wasn't what I thought it would be, and I really can't find a way to articulate it anymore than that. I continued to hang around the B for several weeks because of the relationships I had formed there, but I was still prayerfully considering and exploring where to really get plugged in.
There was a Friday morning that I was listening to a podcast as I walked to class that spoke straight to my heart as Ben Stuart, the pastor at Breakaway Ministries, said "unmet expectations keep you from greater things."
As welcomed as I felt at the BCM and as comfortable as I was, it wasn't what I thought it would be, and I really can't find a way to articulate it anymore than that. I continued to hang around the B for several weeks because of the relationships I had formed there, but I was still prayerfully considering and exploring where to really get plugged in.
There was a Friday morning that I was listening to a podcast as I walked to class that spoke straight to my heart as Ben Stuart, the pastor at Breakaway Ministries, said "unmet expectations keep you from greater things."
And as I walked in to my English class that morning, I was overwhelmed by the clear answer. Most obviously keeping me from said "greater" things was that my lifegroup at the B met at the same time as Quest, which is part of YoungLife's training program to be a leader.
Though I did not come into college planning to get involved with YoungLife, I did come into school wanting to find a place to serve my peers day in and day out. And I began to realize that Younglife could be that place for me to really serve both when Quest meets and around campus. But as I realized this, I realized that my lifegroup at the BCM met at the same time as Quest and my commitment there would be what could be keeping me back.
To explain the quote a little more, saying "greater" isn't entirely the full picture. Ben explained "greater" as things that are in response to you walking to His purpose and seeking to be obedient, and my "greater" in this season has been made clear to be with YoungLife.
Though I did not come into college planning to get involved with YoungLife, I did come into school wanting to find a place to serve my peers day in and day out. And I began to realize that Younglife could be that place for me to really serve both when Quest meets and around campus. But as I realized this, I realized that my lifegroup at the BCM met at the same time as Quest and my commitment there would be what could be keeping me back.
To explain the quote a little more, saying "greater" isn't entirely the full picture. Ben explained "greater" as things that are in response to you walking to His purpose and seeking to be obedient, and my "greater" in this season has been made clear to be with YoungLife.
There was not a thing wrong with the B. In fact, I loved my time there, and I still talk to a handful of the sweet people I met there, but it jsust wasn't where I was needed to be. The BCM was my "safe" option to stay on a campus dauntingly full of "unsafe," and out of my like for comfort, I kept going back when there was an obvious calling that I was supposed to be His hands and feet somewhere else.
He is so active and He is so at work in our hearts, even in the smallest of ways. Looking back on this situation, I think it is so cool to be able to see the clarity He revealed and then the opportunities He later arranged for me to really be fully obedient.
(I've gotten into a sweet little routine of campus ministries, but I'm still open to other churches. I've attended Fellowship Middlebrook for the past semester and loved the openness of the church and the teachings from Pastor Rick and Greg. I really adore the way they focus on raising up generations to come, but I have just found that it is extremely difficult to get involved as a college student, so I'm still praying about where I should be attending as this next semester approaches.)
3. Grace undeserving
If you don't know me well, I can be a bit of a perfectionist and a bit hard on myself simply because I have really high expectations. I don't exercise grace very well and tend to take a while to forgive myself. While this can be good, it can lead to a lot of unnecessary frustrations, and I'm especially hard on myself when I really care about things.
You also may not know that I have an internship this semester with the UT Athletics Media Relations Department as a social media intern. So yes, that is exactly what it sounds like: I Tweet, I Insta, and I Facebook about Tennessee's sports teams.
I know what you're thinking: "That's perfect for you! You love the Vols!" and it has been. I have genuinely loved every single day of it and look forward to my time in the office and working events because of the community there (This is part of the story I chose when people ask!).
I know what you're thinking: "That's perfect for you! You love the Vols!" and it has been. I have genuinely loved every single day of it and look forward to my time in the office and working events because of the community there (This is part of the story I chose when people ask!).
But that love for the Vols was part of my issue..
Early into the year, I dove head first and got assigned to work with the volleyball team, including producing the graphics and live tweeting their matches.
But the missing information you need to know here is that I had 0 experience with photo shop and had watched approximately half of one of my cousin's volleyball games when I was in 9th grade.
I. Knew. Nothing. But fake it till you make it, right?
I had my boss, Kellen, and my cousin teach me about the basics of the sport and the graphic designers teach me what I needed to know to produce the score graphics, and I figured I'd be fine.
I had my boss, Kellen, and my cousin teach me about the basics of the sport and the graphic designers teach me what I needed to know to produce the score graphics, and I figured I'd be fine.
And I was. Except for the fact that I sent out a starting lineup on all 3 major platforms with the wrong opposing team information and had typos in a handful of my live tweets. In the moment, I didn't realize my mistakes because of the adrenaline and nerves I was feeling.
It was after the game when Kellen was checking in on me that he so kindly pointed out my errors. There were no harsh words and no firing that happened for my mistakes. There was no anger and no frustration towards my finger slip ups, but simply understanding, forgiveness, and a desire for me to improve next time.
It was after the game when Kellen was checking in on me that he so kindly pointed out my errors. There were no harsh words and no firing that happened for my mistakes. There was no anger and no frustration towards my finger slip ups, but simply understanding, forgiveness, and a desire for me to improve next time.
As Kellen realized I was upset with myself and walked me through figuring how to move forward, I was caught in the midst of grace that I did not deserve. I had messed up and I deserved to pay the consequences for it.
When I was too hard on myself and too unforgiving of the easily avoidable mistakes and the way I had misrepresented something I love so much, Kellen came in and spurred me to exercise grace on myself and to see a very applicable and very tangible picture of what Jesus' grace looks like. Not to justify my mistakes or to abuse it and continue making mistakes, but in his kindness and understanding, Kellen demonstrated one of the best pictures of grace I've seen in a long time.
When I was too hard on myself and too unforgiving of the easily avoidable mistakes and the way I had misrepresented something I love so much, Kellen came in and spurred me to exercise grace on myself and to see a very applicable and very tangible picture of what Jesus' grace looks like. Not to justify my mistakes or to abuse it and continue making mistakes, but in his kindness and understanding, Kellen demonstrated one of the best pictures of grace I've seen in a long time.
To my standard, I should have been "let go" and I still think he really should have YELLED at me. I mean, I put out a graphic with the wrong team!!
But I was met only with forgiveness and a very real and much needed reminder of what Christ like grace can look like on a day to day basis.
But I was met only with forgiveness and a very real and much needed reminder of what Christ like grace can look like on a day to day basis.
(Shameless plug: @Vol_Sports is the interns pride and joy. We launched it this fall and are working to make a name for it. If you want to see our work, check it out. )
I seriously have so many more stories I could tell like blind makeovers, a trip to Tellico Plains, the UT-UT Lady Vols game, BYX formal, my first speech, and many more stories that leave me in awe about how Jesus has put this year together just right, but I don't have enough time to write them all out and explain the significance of how each and every day has gone. Not to mention. I have a statistics final that needs to be studied for, and I have to save some stories to share when I get to see you next.
But I think it's really fitting that my journal coming in to the semester had "He is before all things" titled on the front because now more than ever, I realize that He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.
He divinely orchestrated my first semester (and every semester before it, too honestly), but this semester has been different because I was looking for Him in every walk to class and in every conversation and every car ride in between.
He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.
And we wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm awe struck by you, Jesus, and full of thanks.
For more pictures of my first semester as a Vol, check out my album on Facebook to get a glimpse into the *glamorous* life I live.
xoxo
Lauren
xoxo
Lauren
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