Trust in You

It apparently was just ground breaking news when I posted this cover on Instagram.

A video posted by Lauren Reed (@_laurenreed_) on Feb 21, 2016 at 5:46pm PST

I mean, if you're ever actually around me for more than 10 minutes outside of school, you'd know I never stop singing. But that's beside the point. That's not why I posted this.

Growing up is hard. Like, really hard, right now at least. There are so many decisions on the horizon and so many pressures I feel like I can never live up to. College is the main one, my career is another, relationships is one more (not to mention the minuscule by comparison issue that is prom). It's a lot to bear and have going a million miles an hour in my head.

I know that it will all work out. I know that with my whole heart, but sometimes, it is hard to remember.

"And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail." 
Isaiah 58:11

It's my natural tendency to want to do make a way for everything on my own, if I'm being honest. To try and almost undermine God and his provision, but in this season of my life, I'm learning that he always provides for my greater good. 

He will make a way for me to go to a $37,000 per year college, if I'm supposed to go there. I don't need to find side jobs and forfeit my social life.

He will reveal a career to me that fits me perfectly in his perfect timing. I don't need to take personality tests and career aptitude tests on websites that don't even know me.

He will show me who are my lifelong friends and who bring out the best in me. I don't need to reach out to every person I see in the halls and try to learn every detail about their life.

But He won't do that if I'm still clinging on to control for dear life.

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."
Proverbs 19:21

This was what I call my "cling verse". In my head, I repeated it over and over as I walked through school, as I drove home, everywhere I went. 

I can plan all that I want, but ultimately, God can (and probably will) wreck those plans. When I need this much scholarship money and didn't get it, or was going to apply for this job and it got filled, or wish this girl and I had connected more, I've had to learn to be a peace with that, and no matter how it settles with my soul, until I completely surrender it to the Lord, I am chaos inside. 
Only after I surrender it all to him does inner peace come because He is peace. Yes, peace is a person, and it is very real.

For example, after I toured Samford University (ruff 'em!), all I could think about was paying for college: am I going to be able to? How much student debt am I going to come out with? Will I be able to get a job? Is this major a realistic one?
I really and truly struggled with this for a while. Easily 2 weeks recently and seriously but since the beginning of sophomore year really, only to realize it's too much for me to bear. Lots of tears, strained relationships, and frustrated prayers later, I gave it up. I wrote every fear and doubt and confusing thought in my journal one last time.

And peace came flowing in like a river: abundant and calming. Since that night, I am yet to stress about college like that. Yes, I think about it, but it no longer consumes me, and it is all because of I laid it at His feet. 

Just like Philippians 4:7 says, his peace surpasses all understanding. It is evident and obvious in ways I will never fathom, and that is one of the many reasons I love and adore Him.

I didn't post that video because I wanted to showcase my singing and mediocre guitar playing. I posted that video because his faithfulness is overwhelming and deserving of being screamed from the mountain tops (or every social media platform).

It was my way of publicly declaring my trust and my first step in unfolding His greater plan for me.

Girls Just Wanna Have Friends

Concert tickets are good, but free concert tickets are even better, especially when you forget you entered to win them.

When I opened my email last Wednesday and saw I won tickets to see Kelsea Ballerini, Ingrid Michaelson, and Cyndi Lauper, I was only naturally ecstatic. Kelsea and Cyndi, my fav and a legend, were bound to make for a great night, and they definitely did.

Skyville is actually a really awesome venue. It’s an old warehouse converted with some pretty lights and cool fixtures. It probably seats 200 when its tables, chairs, and bleachers in the rear are absolutely packed. Super intimate. I loved it.

Skyville as a venue is different, and so is Skyville as a company. Skyville is an online based company that provides online streams of their concerts. Skyville brings together artists of all different ages and genres: Kris Kristofferson, Brenda Lee, Greg Allman, Tracy Lawrence, Lady Antebellum, Gladys Knight, Martina McBride, the list goes on.

This specific show I attended was Cyndi Lauper, Ingrid Michaelson, and Kelsea Ballerini. Kelsea, Ingrid, and Cyndi aren’t quite a normal pairing though. For Thursday, they were brought together for a Skyville production called “Girls Just Wanna Have Friends.” It was a celebration for all the ages.

The night began with crazy haired Cyndi singing “Time After Time” and dancing her way through several new songs off her country album “Detour”.  Then young Kelsea joined her and then it was Ingrid’s turn to sing with the legend. Each sang her respective hits, and came together for a finale of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”, complete with balloons and all.

 

The night began with crazy haired Cyndi singing “Time After Time” and dancing her way through several new songs off her country album “Detour”.  Then young Kelsea joined her and then it was Ingrid’s turn to sing with the legend. Each sang her respective hits, and came together for a finale of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”, complete with balloons and all.

Above photo by Rick Diamond/ Getty Images for Skyville

If "Detour" is anything like Cyndi's perfomance at Skyville, "Detour" is going to potentially be the best album of 2016. Cyndi KILLED her cover of "Walking After Midnight", and I can not wait for "Detour" to drop in May.

Album cover for "Detour" by Cyndi Lauper.
 "Detour" is expected to drop May 2, 2016.

All, Cyndi, Kelsea, and Ingrid, had their own stage presence that blended for the perfect vibe. Cyndi’s years of experience gave her the obvious upper hand. Every word she said got applause and every joke she told got a laugh. Kelsea’s sweet and humble approach made her “Skyville’s Sweetheart”, leaving Ingrid as the awkward and loveable fan favorite.

I couldn’t have asked for a better lineup. The blend of the three styles and personalities made for a perfect night to celebrate the unity of women in the music business.

You could tell these girls had a whole lot of fun, but they also showed music business is more fun, and ultimately better when you are friends with your peers.

Let's have some fun, girls. Life's not all competition,

Lauren

Kels made time for me after the show, and I can't begin
to tell you how happy my heart was after a long over due hug from
this one.

The Attitude of Beauty

I stumbled across these attitudes of beauty the other week, and something about them struck a cord within me,

My Uncle Gucci came up with these for his daughter, Kelly when she was younger and she really lived by them through the years.. She is forever one of the most kind, helpful, loving women I know, and I see her beauty physically, but with her attitudes, too. 

I think I like them so much because I'm all about the idea that beauty is much more than your clothes and hair. Despite society defining beautiful as the girl with brown beach waves for hair and the pale blonde with bright eyes, beauty is your heart. 

Be kind. Be helpful. Be friendly. Be considerate. Be courteous. Be generous. Be neat. Be thankful. Be respectful. Be loving, first, and then, work on the outside because I guarantee you will be much more beautiful if you're thankful and considerate than if you have perfect hair and expensive clothes. 

Be beautiful,

Lauren

Side note: We really did call him Gucci because when I was a little, he would always come after me saying "gucci, gucci, goo," trying to tickle us. We'd run and laugh and scream, but at the time, we didn't know him as "Leland" or "Mo", he was "Gucci" to us, and it stuck.

Snowball 2016

It's actually really hard to go to sleep at a regular time when for the past two nights you've been dancing around a worship center with 188 other girls. Laying in my bed just doesn't really sound appealing in comparison despite my mere 4 hours of sleep last night.

But that's the beauty of girls' retreats, specifically Snowball. 

This year, we went to Camp Widjiwagan, and talked about sisterhood and just the community that exists within the body of Christ.

A pretty universal thing I've found in churches everywhere is that there is drama and conflict in youth groups. It's really beyond me why this happens, and it makes me really upset, but that's a conversation for another time.

But we talked about it this weekend, and I really feel that it made a difference.

There are so many directions to go with the vague topic of community in Christ, and we went in all of them. We talked about how we are capable of loving others (by loving God and loving yourself), how to love yourself and begin to see yourself how God sees you, how relationships struggle but overcome those challenges, how each girl brings something unique to the body of Christ. 

And through peer groups, fellowships, small groups, group worship, and free time, we learned all of it.

To me, the coolest things we did were DISC placement and spiritual gift tests. They sound ultra lame, but I promise they're really cool. 

For the DISC profiles, there were 15ish sets of 4 words that we had to rank ourselves 1-4. For example, the four words are "humble," "enthusiastic," "results oriented," and "organized." I would rank them 2, 4, 3, 1. After doing all of them, you add up your points accordingly, and you're given 4 categories with 4 scores. The 2 categories with the highest points are your 2 strength categories. Either D, I, S, or C, standing for driver, influencer, stabilizer, and critical thinker. 

When you take this test, you'll then be given descriptors and tendencies for your categories and find yourself going "I didn't even realize..." It's super cool, and unlike the personality tests you take in magazines, this one is applicable.

The categories that are diagonal are often the ones that are find conflict between them the most, while the ones touching horizontally or vertically typically work well together.

Check out DISC's website for more information and look over some descriptions of each and see where you and your best friend fall. Are yall diagonal or horizonal/vertical? That could explain some things.

We also took spiritual gift tests, which I love. I love finding out how I best serve the Kingdom and where I really thrive.

And in addition to taking the tests, we talked about what they mean for us in daily life. Romans 12 gives example that whatever your gift is, use it. Don't hide it. Do what God made you to do despite if it's cool or not. 

Out of all 19 spiritual gifts in the bible, my highest gift was administration. Shocker. 

If we're being real, I struggle with this being my gift. I'm good at planning and organizing and logically executing, but it's not cool to me. I'm not on stage praying out loud in front of the entire youth group. I'm not walking up to strangers in Target talking about how there is a plan for them. I'm filing papers in folders and making spreadsheets for budgets and rooming assignments for a retreat. There's nothing glamorous about that to me. Until this weekend, I honestly kind of shook it off and gave myself 0 credit for being good at being organized because clutter and chaos is glamorized in our world.

But God gave me the gift of administration for a reason (1 Corinthians 12:18) and I have no reason to not totally own it.

Really, you can't love others like Jesus calls us to without loving yourself (Mark 12:30) . You have to understand who you are, why you're that way, and what that means before you can love others.

Who are you?

stay warm!
xo,
Lauren

2015...

2015 had it's ups and downs, for sure, but all in all, It was a pretty good year.. In no particular order, here's my 2015..

I turned 16 and got my driver's license! (And yes, freedom is so, so sweet)

I took a trip to Pennsylvania and shopped at a 2 story Target!!

aka Heaven

I went to one of the most haunted places in America, Eastern State Penitentiary.

I decided that peaches are my favorite fruit, and green beans are my favorite vegetable.

I saw NeedToBreathe at the Ryman! They easily have some of the best voices I've ever heard.

I read Angels Walking by Karen Kingsbury and cried to a fiction book for the first time. Well done, Mrs. Kingsbury

I got my first Chaco tan (insert heart eye emoji).

I watched the entire Gilmore Girls and Gossip Girl series...

I saw Alan Jackson, who is i n c r e d i b l e. 

I bought my first pair of Jacks and Hunters!

I started taking up calligraphy, It's harder than it seems.

I went to Chicago, again, and got to tell some kiddos how much their Creator loves them.

I started taking Zumba classes and definitely now call myself a Zumba lover.

 I went hiking for the first time! I didn't hate it, but I don't think I'll go out hiking on my own..

I bought my first Lilly dress...LOVE.

and while I was discovering just how much I love Lilly, I went to their headquarters in King of Prussia.

I relearned that roller coasters are not really my thing. Too fast and too many chances of getting hurt.

I consistently held the B spot on my golf team, behind a senior.

I only got sunburned 6 times!!

I lead my first Bible study with some middle school girls.

I lost my hearing at Jason Aldean's Nashville stop.

I went to Vancouver and drank waaaay too much Tim Hortons.

I got the chance to work with Nashville's Lunch Box, a nonprofit ministry that feeds underpriviledged families in the metro-Nashville area.

I learned to play chess.

I got to hug this girl's neck after her OPRY DEBUT and album release.

I got to hear Taya Kyle (nd Marcus Luttrell) speak.

A lot happened in 2015. Lots of concerts, lots of conversations, and lots of coffee. 2015 had its ups and down, but most importantly, I really learned that it's okay to be me, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. 

It's okay that I like purple more than blue and 1 cream in my coffee. It's okay that I'd rather strength train than run. It's okay that I prefer mysteries to love stories.

It's okay to be me, and 2015 taught me that. 

May 2016 be YOUR year to discover who you are and to embrace all that comes with. Make a difference in 2016. Life is only what you make it after all.

love,

lauren

"'Maybe I don't want a happy new year,' she said. 'Maybe I want an intense new year with a lot of growth experiences,'" 

-StoryPeople

Christmas Eve 2015

It's Christmas Eve, ladies and gents!! How exciting!!

I may be 16, but I feel as though I'm 6. 

There's something about these few days of the year that set themselves apart from the rest. Maybe it's the family coming all together. Maybe it's the food. Maybe it's the refocus on the beauty of the Gospel.

Like each and every year before, my family attends our church's Christmas Eve candlelight service (yes, we all go to the same church, both Mom and Dad's side). And like every year, we sung Christmas carols and heard our pastor say "this is my favorite picture of the year," but like I've said a hundred other times, this year was different to me. 

As we lit the candles throughout the congregation, we sang "All Is Well" by Michael W. Smith. 

"For tonight darkness fell

Into the dawn of love's light"

When that baby was born in Bethlehem among donkeys and hay and dirty shepherds, love came down and the darkness that was there was taken over by this little bundle of joy.

When Pastor Mike lit the candle to that first deacon, the darkness that was there was taken over by this little light.

Light always overcomes the darkness In a little sanctuary. In a little barn. In the halls of your school. In the world. 

Light always overcomes the darkness. And that's worth celebrating, even if it is 70 and sunny.

Celebrate! The Light has come!

Merry Christmas,

Lauren

Little Drummer Boy

18 days until Christmas. I can not wait. As we've come into this Advent season, for the first time really, I've understood what this season is all about.

Yes, for the past 16 years of my life, I've known that Jesus was "born on Christmas" and that it's important because He offers us hope and redemption, but for the first time, I'm beginning to understand how great of a sinner I am and how badly I need Him. 

“Neither is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives everyone life and breath and all things.”

-Acts 17:25, HCSB

The song "Little Drummer Boy" came on the radio as I was driving to school this morning. This time, the words stuck out to me more than the "rum-pum-pum"s did, and I heard a beautiful story that we all can identify with. 

"'Come,' they told me...A newborn King to see"

There is a new King that everyone says I need to see.

"Our finest gifts we bring...to lay before the king."

We bring our best things to give Him.

"Little baby...I am a poor boy, too...I have no gift to bring...that is fit to give our King"

I do not have much. I don't even have a worthy gift to bring You.

Isn't that all of our stories?

I've been told of a king who has come to save me, and once I got there, I realized I didn't have anything to offer Him?

"Shall I play for you...on my drum?"

My drum is the best I have, so I am offering that to you.

Once we understand our inadequacies and begin to acknowledge just how little we are compared to Jesus, don't we all try to bring our best to the table? 

For this little boy, it was his drum, and later in the song, we learn that Mary lets him play his drum, and Jesus smiles and is pleased by it, even though it was just a song on a drum.

Jesus wants our best, no matter what it looks (or sounds) like.

 "He is neither served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives everyone life and all things breath," but He wants us. He doesn't need us by any stretch of the imagination, but He, the maker of the universe, wants us despite what little we bring to the table.

I need Jesus daily. I need Jesus hourly. I need Jesus minutely. I need Jesus every second of every day of my entire life because I am so unworthy. Even though I am so unworthy, He still loves me unconditionally, so that is why I wait for His arrival.

-Lauren

Christmas

December,

I am SO happy to see you.

You bring my favorite weather, my favorite drinks, and my favorite music (not to forget my favorite holiday).

You're just totally lovely.

December brings many wonderful things, but really, December means it is now socially acceptable to play Christmas music. Since so many artists have Christmas albums and there's really only about 15 different Christmas songs, it makes it a little tricky to have a solid playlist without hearing the same song 3 times in a row by a different artist...So I decided to help you out. 

Here is my Christmas playlist for this year! 
(I had a little fancy widget on here, but I'm still trying to figure out this whole "HTML" thing.)

It's a tie between Shane and Shane's "A Worship Initiative Christmas," "Christmas With Scotty (McCreery)" and "On This Winter's Night" by Lady Antebellum for my favorite Christmas album, but "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" by Matt Maher is easily my favorite Christmas song. 

Considering this is me since December started, this is only fitting.

And remember, the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

-Lauren

Vancouver

O Canada! O Canada!

I now understand and agree with this song. 

I. Love. Canada.

A few weeks, I was asked to go on a trip to Vancouver, Canada, I accepted, and it was one of the best experiences of my life. 

I went on a 5 person team to hang out with some friends who wok on a college campus. We worked in their offices, organizing and inventorying, and we also facilitated a staff retreat for them. Two from our team lead the retreat, while the rest of us provided childcare for their kids, so they could have the best atmosphere possible to focus and to learn. (The women were so so grateful for our services and it made me realize that I didn't ever think about church planters' difficulty finding childcare. When you think about it, who's going to leave their baby in a day care full of strangers in a foreign country? This detail made keeping the kiddos that much more challenging because they had never been away from Mom, but also really gave God a chance to work in our hearts to develop patience and trust for those around us.)

There's not much to share about the retreat itself, but there is so much to share about the trip.

Let's just jump straight to the mountains.

I go to the Smoky Mountains every year and their beauty is always astounding, but these mountains were different. Maybe because they had snow. Maybe because they were so big. Maybe because it was rainy. I don't know, but even in the fog and the cold, there was beauty all around us.

Snow topped mountains and trees, cascading waterfalls. I think there are few things that are prettier. 

Going back in chronological order..

We took off from Nashville early Tuesday morning at 6:00. After lots of turbulence, a connecting flight (that we almost missed) and Starbucks, we made it to Seattle, where we would drive over the border into Canada.

But what's the good in going to Seattle without stopping on Pike Street?

There's the Pike Place Fish Market, where they throw fish and sing. It's just a great atmosphere.

There's Pike's Place, the "original Starbucks." (The first one was actually at 2000 Western Avenue)

and the best Mexican salad I've ever had from a cute little shop named Michou.

There's just something about the people in Seattle that just look so put together. Even though it was rainy and gross, people still wore their pumps and fur jackets. In our tshirts and leggings, we looked only a little out of place..

After being tourists for a while, we made our way across the border and into our destination city.

While in the city, we visited some friends we have at a church up there and helped them with various things. In return, they took us to the International House of Gelato, and yes, it was every bit as glorious as it seems. 

218 flavors of gelato.

218 flavors means 218 samples only to decide to get the first that one you tried 💁🏼

A photo posted by Lauren Reed (@_laurenreed_) on Nov 4, 2015 at 11:23pm PST

Apple pie gelato brings the American delicacy to a whole new level honestly.

We also went to Granville Island. On Granville Island, there are a whole bunch of little touristy shops with souvenirs and snacks. We went to the public market that is also there with produce, coffee, and flowers.

Where I got the best bagel sandwich of my entire life. 

(This is the view from the dock and isn't it just so pretty) 

Vancouver is interesting..I didn't realize how culturally diverse it is. On every corner you turn, you see a different restaurant type, you hear a different language, you smell a new food. It's amazing. And to then realize that's exactly what Heaven is like is a humbling moment more than words can say.

"Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Philippians 2:9-11

To actually facilitate the staff retreat, we went to Manning Park, where we literally went off the map. No TV. No internet. No cell service. Nada. And if we're being honest, it was actually kind of nice. 

It was a chance to realize just how entirely too consumed we are by wanting to be constantly connected. I had so many good moments with the Lord and His people while being disconnected that made me wonder how many moments I have missed out on before.

While we were off the grid, it snowed and you can bet that this girl built snowmen and had snowball fights with the kids.

We also made "fake snow" for the little boy's trucks to drive through from shaving cream and corn starch. 

It's literally just spray some shaving cream, add some corn starch, mix, and repeat until reached desired consistency. So easy and we got hours of play from it.

I can't say too much about we saw at the church for safety reasons, but God has His hand on Vancouver and is fighting hard for that city. I left part of my heart in Vancouver when we drove away from the cascades, but I now see my God's beauty in new ways: people, languages, snow, baby laughter.

                          Vancouver, I hope I get to visit you again, sooner rather than later.

~Lauren

note: I can not disclose the name of the church for reasons relating to the well being of the church. Like here, there is persecution, but there, it could end in the disbanning of the church.